Friday morning

So it's Friday morning, really early in the morning, and I have still not done anything completely. :(. I have painted my room but there is still a little patch that is not complete. Is it that I have a problem finishing things? Is it that I just cant commit to any ting anymore? And if that is the issue, then why? Why cant I finish a simple thing like painting my room! I really need to take some time and contemplate on my life and what I'm doing with it. I need to look down the path I'm taking and see if its the one I want to complete. Is this path going to make me happy? Is it what I want in my life? Maybe I am soon to come into a fork in the road of my life, which way will I take? Maybe I just need to stop being that person who asks these "what if" and "why" questions and be that person who just goes out there and does it. I was watching T.V. this morning and fell upon an old episode of "Will and Grace'. In the show will and grace were talking on how they are always talking about doing stuff yet always find that they never do any OT those things. They just allow life as they imagine it to pass through like the wind. I DO NT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO ME! I want to kayak in the Estero River, and go snorkeling in the Key West reefs. I want to swim with a shark and be able to wear a bikini with no shame. I want and need these things in my life. For I fear that if I do not accomplish any of these things I will just die. I am not saying this in an exaggerated way either. I mean that I feel on a day to day basis that my life is being drained from me and that If I do not replace my old life with something new then I will just be a hallow and empty shell. Blank stare and no thoughts. Thats almost like the begining of a serial killer, like a female version of Mike Myers. I dont want to become, lifeless. I dont want to die within. I need and must complete something in my life and bring back the lost and hidden joy and happiness. I must!